Stop! Don't kill yourself! We are all here!

I had a friend who called me recently on the brink of suicide. I got her permission to tell use her story... She called me very late at night to tell me that this was it. This was going to be her last night on earth. I could hear the fear and the hopelessness in her voice. She said she didn't really want to do it, but she wanted to at the same time. My friend had endured abuse of every kind and she called me as a last resort, she didn't know where to turn. She said Meghan I don't know what to do, will you pray. So of course I did, right then and there and have continued to ever since. But today at church a verse really stood out to me:

New Living Translation

 But Paul shouted to him, "Stop! Don't kill yourself! We are all here!" Acts 16:28

The context of this verse is that Paul was beaten severely and jailed and when he started praising God an earthquake happened and caused a release of himself and all the other prisoners from the chains that were binding them. (All my spiritual folks will get the double meaning on that one! :) Yes Lord!) Suddenly all of the prisoners were free! Now most of these guys sans Paul and Silas were not innocent, they really committed crimes, but now they were free. (Isn't this the heart of Jesus at work?!)

 So the guy who was supposed to be watching the prisoners runs in and sees that they are all free. He believes now that he will be in DEEP trouble because all of these guys are loose. In his mind there is no hope. He is in the deeps of a situation that he won't be able to explain away, so he draws his sword to take his life. He was hopeless so he turned to suicide like so many of us do. Paul sees this and says "STOP! Don't kill yourself we are all here!"

Isn't this true for us all? See, the jailer couldn't see the men, all he saw was the chains... The empty chains equaled death for him. AND YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR ENTIRE FUTURE!! Sometimes we think the chains are for us, and you may feel like death is the way. BUT STOP!  "We are all here!"

There are always people around you that are here for you, even if you can't see them. For those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please don't think you are alone! There are humans beings who care for you right now, and if you truly don't think that then please know that there are ARMIES of angels around you. You always have an angel around you and when you think you need more, ask God for more. It's as simple as "God I believe in you but I feel hopeless right now. I don't know which way to turn so I'm turning to you. Please help me with these negative and suicidal thoughts. I know you created me for a purpose, to live and not die. Please help me to see this purpose. Amen". Say whatever you need to say but don't make a permanent decision. I am here, God is here, professionals are here to help you. Contact whoever you need to but don't harm/kill yourself. You are worth more than diamonds.

#nosuicide

- Meghan

P.S. I found these photos on angelic_ones instagram, please follow them, their posts are awesome!

Confidence from God

Growing up I struggled with insecurity and VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, (I cannot stress that enough) low confidence. My confidence was so negative, it was scary. Because of that I acted out in many ways that I wish I wouldn’t have. Thank God I didn’t make any permanent choices, but I was contemplating them. I still have days where my self-confidence gets a little shaken but it is NOTHING compared to the way I used to feel. The change is SOLEY because of God. The more I began to read my bible the truth finally dawned on me and I realized that I was believing a lie and the lie was that I was not beautiful or important.  I could see the damage that this lie had done in every area of my life and I asked God to help me repair it. Now, it took some time, and it was not an overnight change. The biggest key to this all was that I had to have renewal of my mind. I began to intentionally focus on bible verses that spoke about how God created us ALL individually for a purpose and with a great destiny over our lives. My favorite is Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (NIV). Another is Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (NIV).

Another thing God had me do to build my confidence is something I would like to share with you. Rather than focus on outer beauty he had me focus on my inner beauty which was really a strange feeling. He asked me “Meghan, what makes you attractive?” I was very uncomfortable with the question because I didn’t view myself as beautiful and certainly not attractive… so I sat there….. and he said “WRITE” and this came out.

What makes me attractive?
□ God- you being inside of me naturally draws people to me, because they want you
□ Prayer- I can pray for everyone and I know God will strengthen them
□ Kindness- People want to be around kind people because they know they will have a low chance of      being hurt or if they do get hurt the person will apologize.
□ Genuineness- being real and honest with people. I don’t have to have all the right words or answers to    give to people, but I don’t have to pretend or be fake. I am allowed to be honest and truthful without being mean or shady. I can trust that God will cover my truth or in some instances I can just say nothing at all and rest in the fact that I have God. He is ALWAYS the truth.
□ Happiness- I have God and that makes me happy, I know that I am NEVER alone. I know that I am always taken care of.


Even as I read it now, it blows my mind that this came out of me, and my pen. It is from God and it makes me feel good. On days when I’m not as kind, or as genuine or I don’t feel full to the brim with God, I can rest in the fact in this is how he sees me. I can remind myself of this. My confidence doesn’t lie in my looks, or anything of my own doing. Instead it is in every beautiful thing he has poured into me.

Sincerely,
Meghan

God has created you for his HIGHEST purpose

Since discovering this truth for myself my life has changed for the greater. God created YOU intentionally, he is not just making people to fill up the earth. We know its quite full already :). He created you with intention to do something for him. He purposed your smile, your wit, your personality, your talents and skills all to be useful to him in some way. Maybe you are a quiet person who likes to cook and paint, guess what God can use you and those talents for his glory. In Jeremiah God says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart". Before God sent you here to earth he knew you and he knew what he wanted to do with you. YOU have a purpose.  ASK HIM

Every year I start reading my bible over again and Genesis is my favorite book of the bible for some many reasons, but I like to give chapter breakdowns of my thoughts on each chapter as I read it. 

In Genesis chapter 1: There is creation. God created EVERYTHING out of nothing, both the heavens and the earth.

Genesis chapter 2: Man and Woman- God gave the commandment to the man 1st before woman was created. Then God says it is not good for man to be alone so he creates all of the animals and lets Adam name them. No suitable companion was found for him there so the Lord caused him to go into a deep sleep     Then he took a part of his side and closed the side up with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the part of the side.      **Woman is the only being not being crafted from dirt. We are created from creation, that's kind of beautiful. Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh** "

Prayer I found on Youversion

What I'm doing is obviously not working--God, help me to get out of the way and just allow YOU to help me the way YOU want to! I still struggle to be the man YOU made me to be! Lord, I need you to help me become the man YOU made me to be. Help me get rid of the stuff in me that's not of YOU....help me budget my finances to serve your will. Help me cleanse my heart and mind of the pain of past hurts and offenses. Life and death is in the power of the tongue...Lord, let me guard every word more carefully so I do not say or do anything that does not glorify YOU. I have generational curse on me to be depressed/addicted to pornography, physically in pain, epileptic, and emotional.... and I'm praying God that you will release me from this bondage. Joshua 1:8; Matthew 5:44--Meditate and the DO the word of God...I need to be spiritual "cow" (constantly bringing Word of God to mind and "chewing" on it)....this is the only way I'm going to truly become what God wants me to be.

This is a great prayer!

Have a fabulous week

Proverbs 25:28

"A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls." Proverbs 25:28

A city with broken down walls is subject for a takeover, it is vulnerable, something is missing. The infrastructure is broken, and people can spot that from the outside. Anyone can come on in and do what they want to.

Don't be a city waiting for siege, don't allow folks to come in and do whatever they want because you are lacking self-control. Ask God to come help you gain self-control and then put it to practice as OFTEN as possible. Sometimes you cant have the last word, sometimes you cant be petty right back to a rude person, sometimes you gotta walk away. The only person you can control is you. ‪#‎wereallstilllearning‬

Your heart...

Proverbs 27:19 "As in water the face is reflected as a face, so a person's heart reflects the person"

Your heart is YOU. It leads everything, what does your heart say about you. Everyday I run into people who deceive, lie to and cheat each other. I just can't bring myself to do it. Is it because I'm self righteous and perfect? HECKKKK NO, but because I have been doing heart work for a few years now. I always want peoples' experience of me to be authentic and really reflect who I am. Yeah we all have times when our attitude is stinky or we are just having a rough go but guess what... Your heart is attached to your head, and your mouth so what flows out of you reflects your insides ALWAYS. Time for a clean out.

Lessons from Saul

Lets read and take this step by step... We are in 1st Samuel chapter 9

1There was a wealthy, influential man named Kish from the tribe of Benjamin... 2His son Saul was the most handsome man in Israel—head and shoulders taller than anyone else in the land. 

I'm assuming this is what Saul looked like with his fine self...

3One day Kish’s donkeys strayed away, and he told Saul, “Take a servant with you, and go look for the donkeys.” 4So Saul took one of the servants and traveled through the hill country ... but they couldn’t find the donkeys anywhere. 

5Finally...Saul said to his servant, “Let’s go home. By now my father will be more worried about us than about the donkeys!” 

6But the servant said, “I’ve just thought of something! There is a man of God who lives here in this town. He is held in high honor by all the people because everything he says comes true. Let’s go find him. Perhaps he can tell us which way to go.”



So some would think that Saul's height and good looks would qualify him to be a king but let's look at his insides... So far we know nothing about the fact that he was a godly man but we do see that he was obedient and honorable to his earthly father and he exhausted his options in looking for the donkeys before he wanted to turn back. Also his servant is the one who suggests they go to a man of GOD to receive more guidance in finding the donkeys. Sometimes the help you receive is from people you may not expect it from and also in ways you wont expect it. Let's continue....



“But we don’t have anything to offer him,” Saul replied. “Even our food is gone, and we don’t have a thing to give him.”
8“Well,” the servant said, “I have one small silver piece. We can at least offer it to the man of God and see what happens!” ... 
“All right,” Saul agreed, “let’s try it!” So they started into the town where the man of God lived.... 
14So they entered the town, and as they passed through the gates, Samuel was coming out toward them to go up to the place of worship. 



So now they are by chance going up this road to meet and man of God named Samuel...

15Now the Lord had told Samuel the previous day,16“About this time tomorrow I will send you a man from the land of Benjamin. Anoint him to be the leader of my people, Israel. He will rescue them from the Philistines, for I have looked down on my people in mercy and have heard their cry.”
17When Samuel saw Saul, the Lord said, “That’s the man I told you about! He will rule my people.” 
18Just then Saul approached Samuel at the gateway and asked, “Can you please tell me where the seer’s house is?” 

19“I am the seer!” Samuel replied. “Go up to the place of worship ahead of me. We will eat there together, and in the morning I’ll tell you what you want to know and send you on your way. 20And don’t worry about those donkeys that were lost three days ago, for they have been found. And I am here to tell you that you and your family are the focus of all Israel’s hopes.”


Wow so Samuel hits Saul with a whopper at the end of that one...Saul came up out of obscurity, yes he was handsome and tall. He was obedient to his father and this ended up leading him on a path to become KING. He was certainly no perfect king but he never took the time to get his heart all the way right and turned to God....


Saul replied, “But I’m only from the tribe of Benjamin, the smallest tribe in Israel, and my family is the least important of all the families of that tribe! Why are you talking like this to me?”

22Then Samuel brought Saul and his servant into the hall and placed them at the head of the table, honoring them above the thirty special guests.

                                 

Lessons from Genesis- Jacob

And he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." Then he said, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed." (Genesis 32:27, 28 ESV)


The story of Jacob is a story of striving... Hosea (12:3-4) would summarize Jacob's life as a life of striving...from the womb on. And it has been a striving of manipulation and deceit at every turn. Even as Jacob is about to come face to face with his manipulation (in Esau), he is still finding ways to make it work for his advantage. In other words, even in the face of his manipulation, he is refusing to come face to face with his sin. So, God (many would say this is the pre-incarnate Christ) meets with him and forces him to admit the one thing the Genesis narrative has never had him admit - that his name is Jacob. His name means deceiver and supplanter.

The Brick Bible  - http://thebrickbible.com/

And, we see it finally come out of Jacob's mouth. I...am...a....deceiver. It is in the midst of this admission that he finally asks for blessing. Instead of manipulating for blessing, he knows he has met his match in God and now asks...even begs for blessing. As a broken man, Jacob is finally blessed...as one who used to strive in manipulation, but has now striven with God and has looked only to Him for blessing. And, just for good measure to continually remind Jacob and all of Israel, God touches his hip to cause Jacob to limp as a broken man for the rest of his life.


-Jeff Lark

-- Be strong. Be kind. Be confident--

Meghan

Lessons from Genesis- Reap what you sow

In the passage I read this morning, I realized that even though Jacob was the chosen one, the seed of deceit he sowed waited for him right along the way as he he journeyed through life. 

After he deceived his dad and received Esau's blessings, he also was deceived by Laban and got Leah at first instead of Rachael. As we walk through our journey in life, it's important as Christians to sow good seeds so that when it's time to reap as we journey through life, we would reap good fruits. 

Another interesting part of this story that ministered to me was the the fact that Leah who was not so loved by her husband was granted blessings and was highly favored by God. Sometimes, people may mistreat us or make us feel like we don't matter, but if we count our blessings in it, we would realize that God did not forget us and God loved us all the way. Lastly, when our blessings are delayed sometimes, we have to form the habit of thanking and praising God in that situation because he is saving the best for us. Even though Leah and every other maid had children before Rachael, when it was God's time and Rachael had a child, he was the greatest amongst all the children after all was said and done. So in all things...give thanks.

-Bible App Notes

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder and Leah's wonderful personality made her more attractive to me. Think of how she must have felt in hearing that this man wanted to come live with them and work for free for SEVEN FULL YEARS to marry her younger, "prettier" sister. I would have felt defeated, insecure, inferior and sad for sure. Her father decides to trick Jacob and switch the brides and even after Leah entered the marriage Jacob still really didn't like her and offered himself to work SEVEN MORE YEARS to get his true love.... her sister. She must have felt like crap, for real and probably forgotten by God. This is not true, we are never forgotten and God hears our cries. God blessed her with many children and she got the chance to be part of the line of the savior! She is the mother of the tribe of Judah.

We don't know what either of them looked like but chances are the possibly looked  similar because they were sisters but it was all a matter of Jacob's tastes. Like Solange and Beyonce', they are both beautiful but one may like the other more. I prefer the funkiness of Solange but some may like the fun elegance of Bey.Vanessa and Angela Simmons are a great example too. 

-- Be strong. Be kind. Be confident--

Meghan

What would you say to God?

-Paige Alex

If God came to you and asked you to do something, what excuse would you tell him?

 • “I’ve never done that before.”

 • “I’m too old (or too young).”

 • “I’m going to face opposition.” 

• “The forecast looks rainy.”

When God asks us to do something it’s never at a good time. Why? Because it’s HIS time, not ours. He sees the big picture. We only see our picture. God knows the forecasts for centuries to come. We only see the clouds today.

When God asked Noah to build an ark, he had plenty of excuses to say “no.”

 • “I’ve never built an ark before.” 

• “I’m 500 years old.”

 • “The people around me are evil.” 

• “How am I going to manage a floating zoo?” 

Despite the excuses, “Noah did everything God commanded him” (verse 22). If Noah hadn’t, he’d be sunk…and so would we. What’s your reason for saying “no” to God? Whatever it is, it won’t hold water for very long.

-- Be strong. Be kind. Be confident--

Meghan

Oprah's Super Soul Sunday- Marianne Williamson

So I was watching this episode of Oprah's Super Soul Sunday with Marianne Williamson (whom I have never heard of). I wasn't expecting much but the episode was actually quite good! So good I had to take notes... Notes that I will share with y’all. :)

Marianne wrote a book titled " A Return to Love - A review of the course in Miracles”.  I had to pick up a pen and continuously rewind because THIS LADY WAS SAYING SOMETHING Y'ALL! 

©      We are an idea in the mind of God and an idea doesn't leave its source- therefore we are an extension of him and we cannot be separated from him.

©      We are either walking in love or in fear

©      We are more afraid of our light than our darkness

©      Every life is a platform- you don’t need to make your own, it is yours already.

o    The spotlight is shining on you, it comes from within J

©      For every person there is a specialized and individual curriculum from GOD

o   Generic curriculum for all is to live in love and forgiveness.

©      “It” is always happening- right now- take your lesson in the now. There should be no “someday my path will start”. I don’t need a new job for it to start etc.  It’s already going!

©      You can have grievance or miracles- if you are thinking an attack thought towards someone then you are suffering and your miracle can be blocked. The universe is self-correcting. A miracle is a shift in love.

©      You want to change a person or a circumstance, pray for that person’s happiness every day for 30 days.

©      Your greatest power to change the world comes from changing your mind about the circumstance.

©      All minds are joined, there is really no place where you start and I end….If I pray for you either you will behave differently or I will stop caring.

©      The Universe is self-organizing, and self-correcting. If you or others do wrong, the universe is already on it.

o   Divine compensation- the universe makes sure you get your return but if your heart is closed then you won’t be able to receive the miraculous new possibility that the universe is bringing.

©      Your life is already programmed into the mind of God.  All of the fabulous things that could happen is already mapped out and programmed into the mind of God, the blue print is already there. It’s like a file in the computer that you need to download. I have to download it; it is my choice to do so. I have to download the possibilities “On earth as it is in Heaven”. It’s an undeletable file but if I don’t ask and bring it down to the screen if I stay in bitterness then all I get is bitterness. That doesn’t mean it’s not in the computer it just means I need to go get it and ask for it. Yessssssssssss Lord! This is the truth!

©      There is no such thing as a grey day, no the sky is always blue, sometimes grey clouds seem to cover it but the sky is always blue. THE SUN/SON IS ALWAYS SHINING. “Blessed are those who have faith but do not see” The great stuff is always there sometimes you just cannot see it!

©      Happiness is a choice and should not be based on circumstances. If I am not happy there is something wrong, I am believing an illusion. I am seeing the evidence of fear and thinking they are real. ONLY GOD’S LOVE IS REAL!

o   à Dear God, I am willing to see this differently, because I am clearly looking through human eyes and it is showing me one reality and that is my perception, and my experience from that is I am feeling unhappy. Allow me to see this differently Lord, AMEN…. CHOOSE TO SEE GOD

©      Pray that you let all of your thoughts of blame and judgment go.

©      Blast people with love before you encounter them.

©      Spend at least 5 minutes in the morning with the HOLY spirit

©      Life has presented us all with the perfect lessons to strengthen your muscles

©      It is not up to you what you learn but it is up to you how you learn it

-Selah-

-- Be strong. Be kind. Be confident--

Meghan

                                                       

The books of the BIBLE

Consider the themes of the sixty-six books:

In Genesis, He is the Creator God.
In Exodus, He is the Redeemer.
In Leviticus, He is your sanctification.
In Numbers, He is your guide.
In Deuteronomy, He is your teacher.
In Joshua, He is the mighty conqueror.
In Judges, He gives victory over enemies.
In Ruth, He is your kinsman, your lover, your redeemer.
In I Samuel, he is the root of Jesse;
In 2 Samuel, He is the Son of David.
In 1 Kings and 2 Kings, He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords
In 1st and 2nd Chronicles, He is your intercessor and High Priest.
In Ezra, He is your temple, your house of worship.
In Nehemiah, He is your mighty wall, protecting you from your enemies.
In Esther, He stands in the gap to deliver you from your enemies.
In Job, He is the arbitrator who not only understands your struggles, but has the power to do something about them.
In Psalms, He is your song-and your reason to sing.
In Proverbs, He is your wisdom, helping you make sense of life and live it successfully.
In Ecclesiastes, He is your purpose, delivering you from vanity.
In the Song of Solomon, He is your lover, your Rose of Sharon.
In Isaiah, He is the mighty counselor, the prince of peace, the everlasting father, and more. In Jeremiah, He is your balm of Gilead, the soothing salve for your sin-sick soul.
In Lamentations, He is the ever-faithful one upon whom you can depend.
In Ezekiel, He is your wheel in the middle of a wheel-the one who assures that dry, dead bones will come alive again.
In Daniel, He is the ancient of days, the everlasting God who never runs out of time.
In Hosea, He is your faithful lover, always beckoning you to come back-even when you have abandoned Him.
In Joel, He is your refuge, keeping you safe in times of trouble.
In Amos, He is the husbandman, the one you can depend on to stay by your side.
In Obadiah, He is Lord of the Kingdom.
In Jonah, He is your salvation, bringing you back within His will.
In Micah, He is judge of the nation.
In Nahum, He is the jealous God.
In Habakkuk, He is the Holy One.
In Zephaniah, He is the witness.
In Haggai, He overthrows the enemies
In Zechariah, He is Lord of Hosts.
In Malachi, He is the messenger God.

In Matthew, He is king of the Jews.
In Mark, He is the servant.
In Luke, He is the Son of Man, feeling what you feel.
In John, He is the Son of God.
In Acts, He is Saviour of the world.
In Romans, He is the righteousness of God.
In I Corinthians, He is the rock that followed Israel.
In II Corinthians, He is the triumphant one, giving victory.
In Galatians, He is your liberty; He sets you free.
In Ephesians, He is head of the Church.
In Philippians, He is your joy.
In Colossians, He is your completeness.
In I Thessalonians, He is your hope.
In II Thessalonians, He is your patience and discipline.
In I Timothy, He is your faith.
In II Timothy, He is your stability.
In Titus, He is the truth.
In Philemon, He is your benefactor.
In Hebrews, He is your perfection.
In James, He is the power behind your faith.
In I Peter, He is your example.
In II Peter, He is your purity.
In I John, He is your life.
In II John, He is your pattern.
In III John, He is your motivation.
In Jude, He is the foundation of your faith.
In the Revelation, He is your coming King.

Proverbs 28:19 - Get your bread!

Soooo I was reading my word last night and as usual asking the Lord to reveal to me the things he wants me to garner from his word. Currently I'm in Ezekiel but this verse popped up. Ill give it you in two versions:

NIV
He who works his land will have abundant food, but the one who chases fantasies will have his fill of poverty.

ESV
Whoever works his land will have pleanty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits will have plenty of poverty.


I PREFER the ESV so I'll go with that :) but anyways BAM this verse hit me hard! Let's dissect it a little....

WHOEVER (me and you) works his land (works his talents, what he is tasked with, what he is given etc.) will have plenty of bread (success, money, something to show for your hard work etc., this is subjective)

So this verse is talking about me really working my land. Now obviously I'm no farmer so my land must be something else right. What is your land? Without getting too personal, my land is preparing for the next level in my life. (There are about 3-5 specific things within this preparation that I need to be doing) This is my current "job" from the Lord. I know it deserves almost all of my daily attention and most of my free time as well but I have been straight up neglecting it. THERE IS NO EXCUSE EITHER. I don't have a job right now.... so I have ample time for the more important work which is tending to my "land". By neglecting I'm talking about playing computer games, sleeping late, talking on the phone, thinking about other things etc... Stuff I know good and well will not help me accomplish my goal or tend to my land.  This is sad but I needed another wake up call. I needed to be reminded of what's at stake.

THE VERSE lays it out plain and simple.... If I take care of my "land", I will have lots of bread (success)
Do I not want the bread? HECK YES I WANT IT, In my case I know exactly what my bread will be!
So why wont I do what needs to be done? Fear, uncertainty, laziness etc. The same ole excuses I have given before. No these are no longer acceptable. I must do the work if I want my bread!!

What's the rest of the verse.... BUT he who follows WORTHLESS pursuits will have plenty of POVERTY.... so this is what I'm trading my bread for.... POVERTY or being without. I have to remember that this is the choice I make. There is no middle ground, when I follow worthless pursuits it will end in poverty. It is a very clear equation.

Very Sobering

31 Days of Prayer for your husband or future husband

31 Days of Prayer for Your Future Husband


1.To become a holy man, mature and growing in the Lord.
2. For contentment.
3.To take every thought captive, and not be conformed to the world’s thinking and to think scripturally.
4.To seek God with all his heart and grow in dependance on Him.
5.That he would be ever captivated by my love
6.To be a man of courage and boldness.
7. For wisdom to lead his family physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
8. To look at the plank in his own eye before seeing other’s sawdust.
9. To be a called man, not driven, with well thought-through and prayed-through goals in life
10.To be a man of prayer, guarding his heart and mind, putting into practice what he has heard, seen and learned.
11.To stand firm against the wiles of the devil and resist Satan in all circumstances.
12. To strive after the Christian ideal, and partake of the deeper truths of the gospel.
13.Not to depend on his circumstances for happiness but on God alone.
14.That he would enter victoriously into spiritual warfare.
15.To have God’s strength in the midst of his busy schedule.
16.To have a burden to see lost people saved.
17. To be kept from strange women.
18. To have godly companions.
19. That his self image might be a reflection of the Lord’s thoughts toward him.
20. That he might not be deceived into unbelief, sin or bitterness.
21. To learn to love as God commanded.
22. That the fruit of the Spirit might be exhibited more and more in his life.
23. To grow in humility.
24. To grow daily in Godly character.
25. To keep a clear conscience.
26. The Lord might protect him.
27. To learn to manage his time well.
28. The Lord would put a song in his heart.
29. To have a holy fear of God.
30. To have a desire to minister to others.
31. That I would be the best helpmate and encourager for him.

P.S. I read this book and it was FANTASTIC! These prayers didn't come from here but it is still a good resource :)

Solomon's Temple

1st Kings 8 and so on...

So I am currently on the Chronological Bible reading plan which is AWESOME! I did it last year and it was the first time I REALLY read the bible from cover-to-cover. I like it because it enables you to read the Bible in order of how things actually happened and it gives you a little more historical insight and understanding. Now that I'm doing it a second time I have even MORE insight because of additional bible studies and books and sermons so it really is awesome because every time I read a passage I know a little more and I get something different but anyways...

I used to think the Bible was extra boring especially the long parts about "So and so begot so and so" and Solomon's Temple... I was like "Why I gotta know how much gold he used and how he decorated the walls????" . Around this time last year when I was reading it I really just sped through it so I could say I read it... but TODAY, ohhhh today, I asked God to stir up some revelation for me and make this word speak to me.

For those who don't know the story I will give it to you in short. King David (yes same David from David in Goliath) grows up and has a son named Solomon. Now David was supposed to build a temple for the Lord but in the end he doesn't get to do it and the task is passed down to his son Solomon. Solomon grows up to be the wise king and he begins building this intricate, extravagant and beautiful temple for the Lord. It took him 7 years, help from others (craftsmen, artists, laborers etc), and alot alot alot of fine materials (cedar, gold, bronze etc.) He took his time to oversee, pray on it and make sure it was done right.

God spoke to me in this story today, and he pretty much told me I NEED TO BUILD A TEMPLE in my heart for the Lord like Solomon. I need to make this special place for us. Lately I have not been honoring our relationship properly. This is right on time because my pastor gave a great bible study on Thursday about Relationship and it bothered me (in a good way). Solomon did it right, he did it just the way God asked him to do it, he did it with honor, he used the finest materials, he enlisted the proper help, he prayed over it and even though he couldn't do it overnight he still worked at it daily, for seven whole years. He made SURE it was done and he didn't take any short cuts in work or finances because he knew the value of the temple, and why he was executing/performing this task. Excellent food for thought.

Like I said, I used to just skip and skim over these chapters in my BIBLE but EVERYTHING in the word applies to you if you let it and ask the Lord to HELP you. Today I read with intention, sat with it and changed my attitude to be open to hearing from God about what I was reading. We get so "busy" with life that we don't build upon our personal relationship with God. This is not just about going to church every once and awhile, your relationship is yours, its PERSONAL. Only you can praise God for you, he wants to know you and hear from you.

I CAN BUILD A TEMPLE. Yesssss its gonna take time, but its gonna be beautiful and worth it.

I can take my blueprint from good ole Solomon. I'm getting the best materials (gold, bronze,cedar/ time, discipline, effort), resources (craftsmen, artists, laborers = pastors, friends,mature Christians & books ) (y'all know I love a good book ;) ) and the BEST GOD!

As I keep plugging away and pushing this relationship with God :)

Dear Future Husband

This is not my writing but it is a find on Madame Noire :)

It is refreshing to see that someone else writes to their future husband as well :)

great great great!!!

Dear Husband of My Future,

      Although I have yet to lay eyes on you, I have faith that you are worth the wait. Contrary to what I used to believe, you will not complete me, but you will compliment the whole person that I already I am. With that said, I have been and will continue to take advantage of my time of singleness because I realize that singleness is not the plague, but a time for me to work on myself and evolve into the woman that I was destined to be. This is why I will not waste this great season of my life sulking and complaining about not having a man. I was taught that patience is a virtue and great things come to those who wait. So instead of doing all that, I am using this time to attain multiple degrees, pursue the career of my dreams, travel the world, learn more about myself as a person and even learn what it means to be a wife as opposed to a girlfriend.

     It is in this time of singleness, I have chosen to refrain from certain activities in which most single young adults in my age group engage in, such as sex. On August 8, 2010, which was my 20th birthday, I made a public vow in front of my entire congregation that I would refrain from sexual activity until the day that you and I exchange our vows in front of our loving family and friends, sealing our promises with an “I do.” Most would see this decision as absurd and unrealistic, but I believe that with God all things are possible. I wish to fully commit myself to you as well as our marriage well before we even cross paths. Although I am in no way perfect, experiencing things the way that God truly intended for them to be done is extremely important to me. I realize that sex is not merely for pleasure but it is a responsibility and a bond that should be shared between a husband and wife. I have also been a witness of the detriment that sex before marriage can bring and I wish to give our marriage a fair chance. Sexual intercourse can spiritually and emotionally tie you to a person and I wish to walk with as little baggage as humanly possible in your direction. No disrespect to anyone else and their choices.

      With baggage in mind I have also made the conscious decision to refrain from recreational dating because along with physical purity, I wish to enter our covenant of marriage emotionally and mentally pure as well. I will not date guy after guy just because, acquiring broken heart after broken heart just to appease my boredom or to satisfy my temporary loneliness. I don’t wish to come to you with a shattered heart covered in scars and bruises seeking for you to put the pieces back together. I refuse to enter our relationship not trusting you because of something some other guy did or did not do in the past that I could’ve completely avoided had I just waited for you. I will not jump at the first guy who smiles at me. I have been a witness to church hook-ups gone wrong that have even evolved into church marriages gone wrong and have made the decision not to partake in all that. I’ve been the church girl devastated to find out that the church boy she had been dating had been dating every church girl in and within a 25-block radius of said church. That is why I will stay single instead of calling Tyrone as one Madame Noire writer stated. Engaging in frivolous relationships to merely cure singleness as if it some devastating disease is pointless and not worth the trouble that it brings. I will guard my heart as Proverbs 4:23 instructs me to and I will follow the instructions of Song of Solomon by “not awakening love until its time” and setting my affections on no one other than you. Whoever you are.

      I’ve been called a dreamer for believing that a man like you exists. I’ve been called unrealistic and impossible. I’ve even been told that I believe that I am living out a Tyler Perry movie, but despite the naysayers, something deep down in the pit of my stomach tells me otherwise. I don’t believe that I am unrealistic for not settling for any old Johnny or Tyrone for that matter. I don’t believe you to be perfect, no one walking this earth is; however, I do believe that we will perfectly balance out one another. Call it picky, but I only wish to be with the one that God designed specifically for me instead of the man who alters himself to fit the mold of what he believes that I want. We may not cross paths for another five years, five months or five weeks, but once again, I have been convinced that patience is a virtue and I am willing to wait.

See you soon,

Jazmine

2012

HAPPPPPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR!

I am extremely excited for what God has in store this year... I believe:

1. That I will continue to grow stronger in the LORD
2. That I will be financially stable and will have an over abundance of revenue in order to pay for school.
3. That I will have a safe move into my FREE God ORDAINED California apartment.
4. That my relationships will be strengthened.
5. That I will grow in vision, clarity and purpose.

L.A. Photoblogging

Ok so I'm getting the hang of uploading photos on this thing :)

Here is more of my Los Angeles trip...

The drive up to La Verne! Check out the mountains in the back :) They are gorgeousness in real life!

That light again, I don't know but it just spoke to me and i have got to use it for wedding cake design when i get married....

CALAMARI, I am absolutely in love with this stuff and I could eat it every day, for real EVERYDAY! I was sad that I couldn't watch the Clipper/Laker game but this cheered me up :)

Great steak house in West covina

Racist bobble head in the hotel gift shop

The hotel lobby! I stayed at the West Covina Raddisson Inn, cheap (58$) and nice looking :)

View out of the hotel window, these are all taken on my phone camera and it is a great view.

I liked the iron bars again :)

Me waking up in the hotel... FRESH DAY

getting ready for my interview :0) BTW thanks be to GOD, I rocked it out!!!

Girl Talk

So last night i went but with a friend and we began to talk about how we are both cute 22 years old with no boyfriends. I told her that I realized that I have not been on a date in YEARS since I was like 16 for real. We both feel a little bad about this which is natural...but it is not EXACTLY godly. TOUGH PILL TO SWALLOW!

I began to tell her about how I have been blog hopping and reading good stuff and I came to a conclusion! IF YOU ARE SINGLE, ITS OKAYYYYYY! God is using this time in you to groom you, to prepare you, to "perfect you" to bring you out to be the best woman possible so when you do meet that guy it will work out. God is also doing the same for your guy, GOD made everyone so he knows who would be the best match for you.

LET GOD DO THE WORK! Sit back, read a good book and be the best you possible in this time. I know I'm suppose to be a mom so now I'm working with kids, taking parenting classes, cooking etc, to prepare myself. ITS FUN!

A little bit of clarity

I have been reading Iyanla Vanzandt's book Tapping the Power Within (AWESOME book btw)

and I was reading a chapter about PRAYER. I found MYSELF ASKING: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN GOD IS TALKING TO YOU?

Well he talks to you all day through many different avenues, maybe its a song, maybe its a conscious feeling, maybe its a little nudge in your spirit, maybe its a feeling, or maybe its in his word.

GOD told me today that I need to begin applying all stories of the bible to my life and what they mean to me personally. I love this because everyone interprets the bible in their own way because the Holy Spirit has individual lessons for all of us to hone in on. I know mine are Faith, Love, peace and kindness which is great because that is pretty much all the BIBLE :)

ANYWAYS today I read 1st Kings 22...

To sum it up for you quickly. There are two kings Ahab (bad) and Jehoshaphat( lets call him jeho for short). Ahab wants to go to war so he calls in 400, yes 400, prophets who do not serve the Lord, they serve a false god with Ahab. These prophets tell Ahab and Jehoshaphat, that if they go to war, GOD is promising they will win.

Sooo Jeho is like "Uhhh are there any other prophets here who serve the Lord" & Ahab says "Yeah but this guy always gives me bad news and I don't like him but we can call him anyways". Sooo THEY call Micaiah in(REAL PROPHET), AND at first he gets sarcastic with Ahab but then he is like, "You are gonna lose and you are gonna die for sure. Your men will be scattered and I had a vision of God and his armies and a spirit has tricked these other prophets into lying against GOD by telling you, that you are gonna win."

So Ahab was like "Heyyyyyyyy, see I told you this guy always gives bad news, I'm not gonna die! I'm gonna put you in jail for saying that and you can come out when I get back from war." To avoid dying Ahab disguises himself as a soldier and makes Jeho dress as King Ahab. The opposite army begins to chase Jeho thinking that he is Ahab and some rogue soldier shoots into the Israelite army and his arrows lands in between the chinks in Ahabs armor and he dies. AS PROMISED....

....WOW....

OK so GOD revealed to me that I need to stop relying on other peoples opinion. Here there were 400 prophets saying one thing and one guy that you don't even like saying another. In life situations can look crazy and not be exactly how you think it should be but GOD ALWAYS RULES! He has the final decision, you can choose to consult him or you can put your trust in other people.