Confidence from God

Growing up I struggled with insecurity and VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, (I cannot stress that enough) low confidence. My confidence was so negative, it was scary. Because of that I acted out in many ways that I wish I wouldn’t have. Thank God I didn’t make any permanent choices, but I was contemplating them. I still have days where my self-confidence gets a little shaken but it is NOTHING compared to the way I used to feel. The change is SOLEY because of God. The more I began to read my bible the truth finally dawned on me and I realized that I was believing a lie and the lie was that I was not beautiful or important.  I could see the damage that this lie had done in every area of my life and I asked God to help me repair it. Now, it took some time, and it was not an overnight change. The biggest key to this all was that I had to have renewal of my mind. I began to intentionally focus on bible verses that spoke about how God created us ALL individually for a purpose and with a great destiny over our lives. My favorite is Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (NIV). Another is Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (NIV).

Another thing God had me do to build my confidence is something I would like to share with you. Rather than focus on outer beauty he had me focus on my inner beauty which was really a strange feeling. He asked me “Meghan, what makes you attractive?” I was very uncomfortable with the question because I didn’t view myself as beautiful and certainly not attractive… so I sat there….. and he said “WRITE” and this came out.

What makes me attractive?
□ God- you being inside of me naturally draws people to me, because they want you
□ Prayer- I can pray for everyone and I know God will strengthen them
□ Kindness- People want to be around kind people because they know they will have a low chance of      being hurt or if they do get hurt the person will apologize.
□ Genuineness- being real and honest with people. I don’t have to have all the right words or answers to    give to people, but I don’t have to pretend or be fake. I am allowed to be honest and truthful without being mean or shady. I can trust that God will cover my truth or in some instances I can just say nothing at all and rest in the fact that I have God. He is ALWAYS the truth.
□ Happiness- I have God and that makes me happy, I know that I am NEVER alone. I know that I am always taken care of.


Even as I read it now, it blows my mind that this came out of me, and my pen. It is from God and it makes me feel good. On days when I’m not as kind, or as genuine or I don’t feel full to the brim with God, I can rest in the fact in this is how he sees me. I can remind myself of this. My confidence doesn’t lie in my looks, or anything of my own doing. Instead it is in every beautiful thing he has poured into me.

Sincerely,
Meghan

Your heart...

Proverbs 27:19 "As in water the face is reflected as a face, so a person's heart reflects the person"

Your heart is YOU. It leads everything, what does your heart say about you. Everyday I run into people who deceive, lie to and cheat each other. I just can't bring myself to do it. Is it because I'm self righteous and perfect? HECKKKK NO, but because I have been doing heart work for a few years now. I always want peoples' experience of me to be authentic and really reflect who I am. Yeah we all have times when our attitude is stinky or we are just having a rough go but guess what... Your heart is attached to your head, and your mouth so what flows out of you reflects your insides ALWAYS. Time for a clean out.

Lessons from Genesis- Reap what you sow

In the passage I read this morning, I realized that even though Jacob was the chosen one, the seed of deceit he sowed waited for him right along the way as he he journeyed through life. 

After he deceived his dad and received Esau's blessings, he also was deceived by Laban and got Leah at first instead of Rachael. As we walk through our journey in life, it's important as Christians to sow good seeds so that when it's time to reap as we journey through life, we would reap good fruits. 

Another interesting part of this story that ministered to me was the the fact that Leah who was not so loved by her husband was granted blessings and was highly favored by God. Sometimes, people may mistreat us or make us feel like we don't matter, but if we count our blessings in it, we would realize that God did not forget us and God loved us all the way. Lastly, when our blessings are delayed sometimes, we have to form the habit of thanking and praising God in that situation because he is saving the best for us. Even though Leah and every other maid had children before Rachael, when it was God's time and Rachael had a child, he was the greatest amongst all the children after all was said and done. So in all things...give thanks.

-Bible App Notes

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder and Leah's wonderful personality made her more attractive to me. Think of how she must have felt in hearing that this man wanted to come live with them and work for free for SEVEN FULL YEARS to marry her younger, "prettier" sister. I would have felt defeated, insecure, inferior and sad for sure. Her father decides to trick Jacob and switch the brides and even after Leah entered the marriage Jacob still really didn't like her and offered himself to work SEVEN MORE YEARS to get his true love.... her sister. She must have felt like crap, for real and probably forgotten by God. This is not true, we are never forgotten and God hears our cries. God blessed her with many children and she got the chance to be part of the line of the savior! She is the mother of the tribe of Judah.

We don't know what either of them looked like but chances are the possibly looked  similar because they were sisters but it was all a matter of Jacob's tastes. Like Solange and Beyonce', they are both beautiful but one may like the other more. I prefer the funkiness of Solange but some may like the fun elegance of Bey.Vanessa and Angela Simmons are a great example too. 

-- Be strong. Be kind. Be confident--

Meghan

Oprah's Super Soul Sunday- Marianne Williamson

So I was watching this episode of Oprah's Super Soul Sunday with Marianne Williamson (whom I have never heard of). I wasn't expecting much but the episode was actually quite good! So good I had to take notes... Notes that I will share with y’all. :)

Marianne wrote a book titled " A Return to Love - A review of the course in Miracles”.  I had to pick up a pen and continuously rewind because THIS LADY WAS SAYING SOMETHING Y'ALL! 

©      We are an idea in the mind of God and an idea doesn't leave its source- therefore we are an extension of him and we cannot be separated from him.

©      We are either walking in love or in fear

©      We are more afraid of our light than our darkness

©      Every life is a platform- you don’t need to make your own, it is yours already.

o    The spotlight is shining on you, it comes from within J

©      For every person there is a specialized and individual curriculum from GOD

o   Generic curriculum for all is to live in love and forgiveness.

©      “It” is always happening- right now- take your lesson in the now. There should be no “someday my path will start”. I don’t need a new job for it to start etc.  It’s already going!

©      You can have grievance or miracles- if you are thinking an attack thought towards someone then you are suffering and your miracle can be blocked. The universe is self-correcting. A miracle is a shift in love.

©      You want to change a person or a circumstance, pray for that person’s happiness every day for 30 days.

©      Your greatest power to change the world comes from changing your mind about the circumstance.

©      All minds are joined, there is really no place where you start and I end….If I pray for you either you will behave differently or I will stop caring.

©      The Universe is self-organizing, and self-correcting. If you or others do wrong, the universe is already on it.

o   Divine compensation- the universe makes sure you get your return but if your heart is closed then you won’t be able to receive the miraculous new possibility that the universe is bringing.

©      Your life is already programmed into the mind of God.  All of the fabulous things that could happen is already mapped out and programmed into the mind of God, the blue print is already there. It’s like a file in the computer that you need to download. I have to download it; it is my choice to do so. I have to download the possibilities “On earth as it is in Heaven”. It’s an undeletable file but if I don’t ask and bring it down to the screen if I stay in bitterness then all I get is bitterness. That doesn’t mean it’s not in the computer it just means I need to go get it and ask for it. Yessssssssssss Lord! This is the truth!

©      There is no such thing as a grey day, no the sky is always blue, sometimes grey clouds seem to cover it but the sky is always blue. THE SUN/SON IS ALWAYS SHINING. “Blessed are those who have faith but do not see” The great stuff is always there sometimes you just cannot see it!

©      Happiness is a choice and should not be based on circumstances. If I am not happy there is something wrong, I am believing an illusion. I am seeing the evidence of fear and thinking they are real. ONLY GOD’S LOVE IS REAL!

o   à Dear God, I am willing to see this differently, because I am clearly looking through human eyes and it is showing me one reality and that is my perception, and my experience from that is I am feeling unhappy. Allow me to see this differently Lord, AMEN…. CHOOSE TO SEE GOD

©      Pray that you let all of your thoughts of blame and judgment go.

©      Blast people with love before you encounter them.

©      Spend at least 5 minutes in the morning with the HOLY spirit

©      Life has presented us all with the perfect lessons to strengthen your muscles

©      It is not up to you what you learn but it is up to you how you learn it

-Selah-

-- Be strong. Be kind. Be confident--

Meghan

                                                       

Solomon's Temple

1st Kings 8 and so on...

So I am currently on the Chronological Bible reading plan which is AWESOME! I did it last year and it was the first time I REALLY read the bible from cover-to-cover. I like it because it enables you to read the Bible in order of how things actually happened and it gives you a little more historical insight and understanding. Now that I'm doing it a second time I have even MORE insight because of additional bible studies and books and sermons so it really is awesome because every time I read a passage I know a little more and I get something different but anyways...

I used to think the Bible was extra boring especially the long parts about "So and so begot so and so" and Solomon's Temple... I was like "Why I gotta know how much gold he used and how he decorated the walls????" . Around this time last year when I was reading it I really just sped through it so I could say I read it... but TODAY, ohhhh today, I asked God to stir up some revelation for me and make this word speak to me.

For those who don't know the story I will give it to you in short. King David (yes same David from David in Goliath) grows up and has a son named Solomon. Now David was supposed to build a temple for the Lord but in the end he doesn't get to do it and the task is passed down to his son Solomon. Solomon grows up to be the wise king and he begins building this intricate, extravagant and beautiful temple for the Lord. It took him 7 years, help from others (craftsmen, artists, laborers etc), and alot alot alot of fine materials (cedar, gold, bronze etc.) He took his time to oversee, pray on it and make sure it was done right.

God spoke to me in this story today, and he pretty much told me I NEED TO BUILD A TEMPLE in my heart for the Lord like Solomon. I need to make this special place for us. Lately I have not been honoring our relationship properly. This is right on time because my pastor gave a great bible study on Thursday about Relationship and it bothered me (in a good way). Solomon did it right, he did it just the way God asked him to do it, he did it with honor, he used the finest materials, he enlisted the proper help, he prayed over it and even though he couldn't do it overnight he still worked at it daily, for seven whole years. He made SURE it was done and he didn't take any short cuts in work or finances because he knew the value of the temple, and why he was executing/performing this task. Excellent food for thought.

Like I said, I used to just skip and skim over these chapters in my BIBLE but EVERYTHING in the word applies to you if you let it and ask the Lord to HELP you. Today I read with intention, sat with it and changed my attitude to be open to hearing from God about what I was reading. We get so "busy" with life that we don't build upon our personal relationship with God. This is not just about going to church every once and awhile, your relationship is yours, its PERSONAL. Only you can praise God for you, he wants to know you and hear from you.

I CAN BUILD A TEMPLE. Yesssss its gonna take time, but its gonna be beautiful and worth it.

I can take my blueprint from good ole Solomon. I'm getting the best materials (gold, bronze,cedar/ time, discipline, effort), resources (craftsmen, artists, laborers = pastors, friends,mature Christians & books ) (y'all know I love a good book ;) ) and the BEST GOD!

As I keep plugging away and pushing this relationship with God :)

Girl Talk

So last night i went but with a friend and we began to talk about how we are both cute 22 years old with no boyfriends. I told her that I realized that I have not been on a date in YEARS since I was like 16 for real. We both feel a little bad about this which is natural...but it is not EXACTLY godly. TOUGH PILL TO SWALLOW!

I began to tell her about how I have been blog hopping and reading good stuff and I came to a conclusion! IF YOU ARE SINGLE, ITS OKAYYYYYY! God is using this time in you to groom you, to prepare you, to "perfect you" to bring you out to be the best woman possible so when you do meet that guy it will work out. God is also doing the same for your guy, GOD made everyone so he knows who would be the best match for you.

LET GOD DO THE WORK! Sit back, read a good book and be the best you possible in this time. I know I'm suppose to be a mom so now I'm working with kids, taking parenting classes, cooking etc, to prepare myself. ITS FUN!