#Ferguson

My personal Ferguson rant:

I am REALLLLLLY tired of people grouping and labeling others its so annoying. Everyone knows by now that I don't like to be addressed first and foremost as a "black woman". ((I'm not opposed to the term black but I am opposed to firstly describing people by their skinshade)) Yes I am black but I hate that it is the first label applied to me. If you are going to label me how about friend, teacher, woman, christian etc. those can come first.

I have a name, its Meghan. The amount of melanin in my skin happens to produce a chocolate shade, yours may be cream colored, peach, deep brown, olive, WHATEVER. We are all literally the same, aside from the amount of melanin we produce. With that being said, I am not naive enough to know that groups of people do share cultural similarities and that racism is still very much alive all over the world and certainly here in the states but DANG can we stop the division!!! Celebrate people! No one should be treating anyone any different because of their skin. How difficult is this concept? It is something I have had to deal with my entire life, listening to ignorant commentary, ignorant questions, a "harmless joke" here and there...I have zero tolerance for it now and I am QUICK to check folks regarding this topic. l will not allow you to make me feel ANY different from you because of skin.

I have not commented on Ferguson because I always like to wait until more things come to the light but I will say that these topics always show me people's TRUE COLORS and that goes for everyone... Seeing comments and statuses that say "The blacks" or the "the whites" or even "the cops all" is so ignorant. If you honestly believe that an entire "group" of people believes or behaves a certain way shame on you. I want to live in a world that is label free and stereotype free, Facebook included... ‪#‎endrant

Confidence from God

Growing up I struggled with insecurity and VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, (I cannot stress that enough) low confidence. My confidence was so negative, it was scary. Because of that I acted out in many ways that I wish I wouldn’t have. Thank God I didn’t make any permanent choices, but I was contemplating them. I still have days where my self-confidence gets a little shaken but it is NOTHING compared to the way I used to feel. The change is SOLEY because of God. The more I began to read my bible the truth finally dawned on me and I realized that I was believing a lie and the lie was that I was not beautiful or important.  I could see the damage that this lie had done in every area of my life and I asked God to help me repair it. Now, it took some time, and it was not an overnight change. The biggest key to this all was that I had to have renewal of my mind. I began to intentionally focus on bible verses that spoke about how God created us ALL individually for a purpose and with a great destiny over our lives. My favorite is Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (NIV). Another is Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (NIV).

Another thing God had me do to build my confidence is something I would like to share with you. Rather than focus on outer beauty he had me focus on my inner beauty which was really a strange feeling. He asked me “Meghan, what makes you attractive?” I was very uncomfortable with the question because I didn’t view myself as beautiful and certainly not attractive… so I sat there….. and he said “WRITE” and this came out.

What makes me attractive?
□ God- you being inside of me naturally draws people to me, because they want you
□ Prayer- I can pray for everyone and I know God will strengthen them
□ Kindness- People want to be around kind people because they know they will have a low chance of      being hurt or if they do get hurt the person will apologize.
□ Genuineness- being real and honest with people. I don’t have to have all the right words or answers to    give to people, but I don’t have to pretend or be fake. I am allowed to be honest and truthful without being mean or shady. I can trust that God will cover my truth or in some instances I can just say nothing at all and rest in the fact that I have God. He is ALWAYS the truth.
□ Happiness- I have God and that makes me happy, I know that I am NEVER alone. I know that I am always taken care of.


Even as I read it now, it blows my mind that this came out of me, and my pen. It is from God and it makes me feel good. On days when I’m not as kind, or as genuine or I don’t feel full to the brim with God, I can rest in the fact in this is how he sees me. I can remind myself of this. My confidence doesn’t lie in my looks, or anything of my own doing. Instead it is in every beautiful thing he has poured into me.

Sincerely,
Meghan

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