Nagasaki, Japan

So I'm on vacation, thus far it's not feeling like a vacation yet so I am REALLY, desperately trying to relax my mind....

Anyways, I am loving Japan. I am in Sasebo visiting and that is where the navy base is located which is nice because many people know a little bit of English here.

View of Sasebo from atop the mountain 

I have had some cool experiences but I am really loving to explore the areas around town.
My favorite locale so far was Nagasaki where we went to see the atom bomb museum,

A to scale replica of the actual bomb

The inside of the to scale replica of the bomb

These glasses really hit home for me. When you see an article that actually belonged to someone you feel the gravity of the death of these people. 

Extremely sad... :(

In these wooden steps from an elementary school you can see shrapnel and LARGE shattered glass fragments that were deeply embedded by the explosion. If there were any children outside they would have most certainly been struck by these items.

Flying Cranes of peace

Statue representing a mother holding her dead child, 70% of all victims were women, children and the elderly. 

The crater in which the bomb made, any humans nearby were immediately vaporized. 

All in all, it was great to learn about and of course very sad. This land is very beautiful.

ALL pictures on this post are mine.

#Ferguson

My personal Ferguson rant:

I am REALLLLLLY tired of people grouping and labeling others its so annoying. Everyone knows by now that I don't like to be addressed first and foremost as a "black woman". ((I'm not opposed to the term black but I am opposed to firstly describing people by their skinshade)) Yes I am black but I hate that it is the first label applied to me. If you are going to label me how about friend, teacher, woman, christian etc. those can come first.

I have a name, its Meghan. The amount of melanin in my skin happens to produce a chocolate shade, yours may be cream colored, peach, deep brown, olive, WHATEVER. We are all literally the same, aside from the amount of melanin we produce. With that being said, I am not naive enough to know that groups of people do share cultural similarities and that racism is still very much alive all over the world and certainly here in the states but DANG can we stop the division!!! Celebrate people! No one should be treating anyone any different because of their skin. How difficult is this concept? It is something I have had to deal with my entire life, listening to ignorant commentary, ignorant questions, a "harmless joke" here and there...I have zero tolerance for it now and I am QUICK to check folks regarding this topic. l will not allow you to make me feel ANY different from you because of skin.

I have not commented on Ferguson because I always like to wait until more things come to the light but I will say that these topics always show me people's TRUE COLORS and that goes for everyone... Seeing comments and statuses that say "The blacks" or the "the whites" or even "the cops all" is so ignorant. If you honestly believe that an entire "group" of people believes or behaves a certain way shame on you. I want to live in a world that is label free and stereotype free, Facebook included... ‪#‎endrant

A Weekend in Santa Monica

Today's Post will be a photoblog

In Santa Monica overlooking PCH

The Pier

Me on the Pier :) 

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Me on the beach, selfies :)

More than Manna

      So lately I've been doing this thing where 2-3x a week I read my bible for a longer period of time and sit with God about whatever I read. It tends to take me about 1-2 hrs to accomplish. Now, I do read daily and I usually get some small piece of knowledge/wisdom to take with me but I have been asking God for more. I want more, I want more knowledge, I want more revelation, I just want more of God. Anyways, he is taking me through the bible in this manner and it has been AWESOME to say the least.

So I'm in numbers right now and the Israelites are in the thick of the wilderness process and they have been traveling for some months coming out of Egypt. As expected they have grown restless, tired and hungry, so they cry out to God. He hears them and provides them manna. Now.... I ALREADY see a problem... I would be like "God, I cant eat this everyday!" And that's exactly what happened, they began to think of the food they ate while they were in slavery, and they began complaining. I can understand it though. Though it's not the best attitude to have, but who wants to eat manna flakes day in and day out for God knows how long? So they cry out again and God's not too happy with them this time so he says, "Okay, Ill give you meat and manna. I'll give you so much meat that you will get sick of it and won't want anymore" (My paraphase) And that's what he does, he sends quail. They get sick... and the cycle continues. They complain and complain, but their complaints seem legitimate to me, well maybe not legitimate but they don't seem terribly unreasonable, for the FLESH.

See our flesh is easily swayed, but we know that though. So I asked God this question... "If you delivered them from slavery, why was the wilderness so sucky too? Why did you make them cry out to you for food, why didn't you just provide that asap?  Why did you make them do that?" The answer I got form God was so profound....

He said, "If I made it even slightly comfortable for them or better than slavery they would have been content. They would have stayed right there in the wilderness. The point is that there was a promised land that they needed to get to. They had to keep going, eventually they will get to Glory but in the meantime they can't be comfortable enough to stop..."

Birthday/Holy Week

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!

It's my real 25th. This year means alot to me.

When I was a young child, 25 was the fantasy age. I used to imagine myself at the age of 25 living a good life. A life much better than the one I was currently in. I grew up depressed and with VERY VERY VERY low self esteem. I wanted out of my life so badly that at times I contemplated suicide. Most people couldn't see that because on the outside I was happy, loud,. jovial Meghan. At the age of 25, I imagined myself with a house, a few cars, a perfect highly paying job, great friends, like 10 boyfriends, a fish named Chester and and I would be beautiful. STUNNINGLY, stopping people in the street beautiful... Then my doubt creeped in and I would see a 25 year old version of myself as still depressed, sad, alone, horrendously unattractive and desperate and dependent. What a life...

Neither of these versions are what my life looks like at the moment, but that is because I serve a God who does exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ask or even imagine. (Ephesians 3:20) MY  LIFE IS GREATER than I could have imagined! I don't have a perfect high paying job, I don't have my own place, I drive a used Nissan Versa... but I do have GOD! I have friends (I call them brothers and sisters) my relationships have gotten better. I am on the path to purpose, I hear God clearly, I have a deeper relationship with God and I'm HAPPY. I'm really happy!

Here are some pics...

My birthday started with being able to compose and deliver a lecture about Child Abuse (my passion).

My Favorite picture of the whole day

Shrimp Scampi and Mashed Potatoes and Strip Steak at the Cheesecake Factory 

Yes GOD!

Birthday Blue :) 

My friend said something crazy, and she got the signature Meghan stank face...

Wished for greatness..

More to come soon

Skin

I have spoken on this before, but the past 15 days or so have afforded me the opportunity to educate people because I have heard some of the most ignorant, offensive and just plain nonsensical racially motivated remarks ever. (Racism, colorism, prejudice, stereotypes etc. are all tricks of the devil! There is no difference of people, we're all made by THE SAME God) I truly thought that by this age I would be done hearing these things (for the most part I am) and I CERTAINLY thought adults wouldn't open their mouths to say such. I honestly did not think people held these beliefs in their minds and hearts...

If you ever THINK you know what type of music I like, food I eat, schools I attended, sources of income, churches I attended, family life I had, places I went, area I grew up in, clothing I like to purchase, styles I wear my hair in, who I voted for (really? this is none of your business), products I use, causes I believe in, people I identify with etc... based of the brown tone of my skin, you are absolutely out of your mind. How dare you think these things, much less express that.

DO NOT assume I know every rap song that comes on the radio because I don't, do not ask me if my hair is weave, do not ask me "how wild my black churches" have been, do not assume my parents were never married. DO NOT create a difference between me and you.

Yes I can use the same hair gel as you, its freaking gel. Yes I can swim (I just hate being outside so you are not gonna see me doing it). Yes I listen to all types of music. Yes I wear sunscreen, I don't like skin cancer.

My heart pumps red blood like yours. I breathe with a set of lungs God gave me like he gave you. I have feelings, just like you do.  I am a PERSON, a human being with thoughts, strengths, faults, feelings and emotions. Aren't we all?

I'm passionate about this because most of you know that my dream is to have ALL people treated the same. I try to live this out daily by treating people well and apologizing when I don't. I am certainly not perfect, as none of us are but I WOULD hate for my future children to grow up hearing the commentary that I hear. We are all the same and everyone wants respect. Lets give it....

M

Stop! Don't kill yourself! We are all here!

I had a friend who called me recently on the brink of suicide. I got her permission to tell use her story... She called me very late at night to tell me that this was it. This was going to be her last night on earth. I could hear the fear and the hopelessness in her voice. She said she didn't really want to do it, but she wanted to at the same time. My friend had endured abuse of every kind and she called me as a last resort, she didn't know where to turn. She said Meghan I don't know what to do, will you pray. So of course I did, right then and there and have continued to ever since. But today at church a verse really stood out to me:

New Living Translation

 But Paul shouted to him, "Stop! Don't kill yourself! We are all here!" Acts 16:28

The context of this verse is that Paul was beaten severely and jailed and when he started praising God an earthquake happened and caused a release of himself and all the other prisoners from the chains that were binding them. (All my spiritual folks will get the double meaning on that one! :) Yes Lord!) Suddenly all of the prisoners were free! Now most of these guys sans Paul and Silas were not innocent, they really committed crimes, but now they were free. (Isn't this the heart of Jesus at work?!)

 So the guy who was supposed to be watching the prisoners runs in and sees that they are all free. He believes now that he will be in DEEP trouble because all of these guys are loose. In his mind there is no hope. He is in the deeps of a situation that he won't be able to explain away, so he draws his sword to take his life. He was hopeless so he turned to suicide like so many of us do. Paul sees this and says "STOP! Don't kill yourself we are all here!"

Isn't this true for us all? See, the jailer couldn't see the men, all he saw was the chains... The empty chains equaled death for him. AND YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR ENTIRE FUTURE!! Sometimes we think the chains are for us, and you may feel like death is the way. BUT STOP!  "We are all here!"

There are always people around you that are here for you, even if you can't see them. For those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please don't think you are alone! There are humans beings who care for you right now, and if you truly don't think that then please know that there are ARMIES of angels around you. You always have an angel around you and when you think you need more, ask God for more. It's as simple as "God I believe in you but I feel hopeless right now. I don't know which way to turn so I'm turning to you. Please help me with these negative and suicidal thoughts. I know you created me for a purpose, to live and not die. Please help me to see this purpose. Amen". Say whatever you need to say but don't make a permanent decision. I am here, God is here, professionals are here to help you. Contact whoever you need to but don't harm/kill yourself. You are worth more than diamonds.

#nosuicide

- Meghan

P.S. I found these photos on angelic_ones instagram, please follow them, their posts are awesome!

Confidence from God

Growing up I struggled with insecurity and VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, (I cannot stress that enough) low confidence. My confidence was so negative, it was scary. Because of that I acted out in many ways that I wish I wouldn’t have. Thank God I didn’t make any permanent choices, but I was contemplating them. I still have days where my self-confidence gets a little shaken but it is NOTHING compared to the way I used to feel. The change is SOLEY because of God. The more I began to read my bible the truth finally dawned on me and I realized that I was believing a lie and the lie was that I was not beautiful or important.  I could see the damage that this lie had done in every area of my life and I asked God to help me repair it. Now, it took some time, and it was not an overnight change. The biggest key to this all was that I had to have renewal of my mind. I began to intentionally focus on bible verses that spoke about how God created us ALL individually for a purpose and with a great destiny over our lives. My favorite is Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (NIV). Another is Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (NIV).

Another thing God had me do to build my confidence is something I would like to share with you. Rather than focus on outer beauty he had me focus on my inner beauty which was really a strange feeling. He asked me “Meghan, what makes you attractive?” I was very uncomfortable with the question because I didn’t view myself as beautiful and certainly not attractive… so I sat there….. and he said “WRITE” and this came out.

What makes me attractive?
□ God- you being inside of me naturally draws people to me, because they want you
□ Prayer- I can pray for everyone and I know God will strengthen them
□ Kindness- People want to be around kind people because they know they will have a low chance of      being hurt or if they do get hurt the person will apologize.
□ Genuineness- being real and honest with people. I don’t have to have all the right words or answers to    give to people, but I don’t have to pretend or be fake. I am allowed to be honest and truthful without being mean or shady. I can trust that God will cover my truth or in some instances I can just say nothing at all and rest in the fact that I have God. He is ALWAYS the truth.
□ Happiness- I have God and that makes me happy, I know that I am NEVER alone. I know that I am always taken care of.


Even as I read it now, it blows my mind that this came out of me, and my pen. It is from God and it makes me feel good. On days when I’m not as kind, or as genuine or I don’t feel full to the brim with God, I can rest in the fact in this is how he sees me. I can remind myself of this. My confidence doesn’t lie in my looks, or anything of my own doing. Instead it is in every beautiful thing he has poured into me.

Sincerely,
Meghan

God has created you for his HIGHEST purpose

Since discovering this truth for myself my life has changed for the greater. God created YOU intentionally, he is not just making people to fill up the earth. We know its quite full already :). He created you with intention to do something for him. He purposed your smile, your wit, your personality, your talents and skills all to be useful to him in some way. Maybe you are a quiet person who likes to cook and paint, guess what God can use you and those talents for his glory. In Jeremiah God says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart". Before God sent you here to earth he knew you and he knew what he wanted to do with you. YOU have a purpose.  ASK HIM

Every year I start reading my bible over again and Genesis is my favorite book of the bible for some many reasons, but I like to give chapter breakdowns of my thoughts on each chapter as I read it. 

In Genesis chapter 1: There is creation. God created EVERYTHING out of nothing, both the heavens and the earth.

Genesis chapter 2: Man and Woman- God gave the commandment to the man 1st before woman was created. Then God says it is not good for man to be alone so he creates all of the animals and lets Adam name them. No suitable companion was found for him there so the Lord caused him to go into a deep sleep     Then he took a part of his side and closed the side up with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the part of the side.      **Woman is the only being not being crafted from dirt. We are created from creation, that's kind of beautiful. Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh** "