Still a work in progress...

This is what I did yesterday :(
Log on my computer
Log onto Facebook
Check my email
Check my financial aid status
Research my fave celebrity crush who I'm really not supposed to be looking up anyways...
See that my crush has a new GIRLFRIEND who has many many many intimate looking photographs of him
Major FREAKOUTTTTTTTTT/Breakdown

CANT BREATHE, SO MAD, CONFUSED, HURT
(Like he is cheating on me but he doesn't even know me), Knowing that on the inside this is crazy to feel this way but still sooooo mad...

So then I research this girl and find out everything she has ever tweeted, thought, posted or said online...for like an hour


After much research on this new girlfriend I find out that all of these photographs are fake, PHOTOSHOPPED... I feel like a fool, a crazy, crazy fool.

By the time I had done all of this I had already had a major shift inside of me:
1. I decided for myself that my crushes crystal clean image was now shattered
2. I had decided that I didn't like this man anymore, I mean how could he choose HER!
3. I had passed MAJOR judgement on him as a person, man and Christian.
4. I had passed judgement on this girl I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!
5. I had prayed to God to not let me like this guy anymore.

even as I type this now I think CRAZEEEEEE but it's true I did all of this. After realizing that these were all fakes of someone who has too much time on their hands I realized my mistakes.

 How quick are we to pass judgement? We are not called to judge others... How quick are we to turncoat? How quick are we to pray to God for crazy things and not for wisdom, discernment, his will in our lives etc.? How quick are we to do things we know we are not supposed to? How quick are we to act on our emotions? How quick are we to be unwise?  How quick are we to waste time on trivial matters?
The ONLY thing we need to be quick about is dying to ourselves and LIVING in the Lord....

#stillaworkinprogress

Justification

I JUST need you Lord, only you...
I need YOU in the times when I need you and in the times when I don't think I need you
I need you to LOVE me
I need you to breathe on me
I need you to wash over my face and SEEP into my skin
I need you to give me new LIFE
I need you to hold me up
Just hold me up
I need ALL that YOU want for me
I need to do the work you have called me to do
I need to go where you have told me to go
I need to find you everywhere in everything
Thank you for being my GOD...
M.M. 3/31/12

Raising Little Girls

(Not my writing but good to share)

3 Things To Do When Raising Little Girls:

1) Prepare your mind before the day begins. (1 Peter 1:13)

The best way I know how to do this is by spending time with the Lord, letting Him show me where I need my heart cleaned, talking with Him, and spending intimate time in His word. Without this “renewing of my mind” Romans 12:2 my day just doesn’t go the same. I am not filled up with Him in order to give to my children. Also, it helps set my priorities for the day.

If you are not a morning person, no big deal, the best solution I have heard for this is to simply make a note or two of what the Lord teaches you at night and then make sure you wake up the next morning and give your day to Him and refresh your memory on what He taught you and wants you to do by looking at your notes from the afternoon or night before. 

2) Exercise Self Control (1 Peter 1:13)

At my house, emotions run high. I have two girls 14 months apart, and both have very strong personalities. There is no passive child at our house. Therefore, it’s easy when the girls emotions take off with them, for mine to as well. For example, one girl steals another toy, one screams, the other screams, they hit each other, I walk over and they start hitting me. What I really want to do is to get mad because let’s be honest, no one likes to get hit, but the Word says I must exercise self control. I must as the original language suggests of this text, be calm, collected and temperate. It is not an option, it is a command. My girls are looking to see how I react and in essence I am teaching them how to respond by my example. 

3) Practice Being Grateful (1 Thes 5:18)

Being ungrateful is a vicious cycle that begins when we are children. The only way we begin to express gratitude is when we are taught to be grateful and thankful. Whenever the girls start whining about wanting something they don’t have (in other words being covetous and ungrateful) I redirect their thoughts to how many things they have to be grateful for and then if it continues I tell them that if they cannot be grateful for what they have, they will simply not get to have or play with anything at all. Even if gratitude is not their heart felt emotion, sometimes we have to practice until we do “feel” what we are disciplining ourselves to do. In other words, if I continually remind our children to be thankful, most likely, they will take this action on themselves and even if they don’t, they will remember that they should, in their hearts. 

The Lord has laid it on my heart to continue to write out areas of my life that I need to give to Him in order to show an example to my girls of how to love Him. All three of these areas I have struggled with or am struggling with currently, I, by no means do all of these things perfectly, but by searching His word for how I am to raise my children and live a life for Him, He does teach me. I am thankful that through my kids,  I see myself before the Lord as His child whom He disciplines because He loves. There is nothing that has taught me more about myself than my marriage and children, and although some of the things revealed are hard to swallow, I love how much it challenges me to grow in the strength of the Lord. Without Him, I really can do nothing. (John 15)

Week 2 of Jan

Its been a whole week of 2012 WOW!
I have been fasting for the past week and all I can say is... when I am weak he is strong!

2012

HAPPPPPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR!

I am extremely excited for what God has in store this year... I believe:

1. That I will continue to grow stronger in the LORD
2. That I will be financially stable and will have an over abundance of revenue in order to pay for school.
3. That I will have a safe move into my FREE God ORDAINED California apartment.
4. That my relationships will be strengthened.
5. That I will grow in vision, clarity and purpose.

Top Moments of 2011

First off I would like to say that 2011 was a GREAT year, I don’t know how God’s gonna top it in 2012! IM READY!

These are in no particular order (except for #1 because it really is #1) 

1. Reading the entire bible in a year (via the youversion online plan, its great you should do it) and REALLY understanding some new and familiar portions of it. #Newinsights

2. GRADUATING college with all my nursing school buddies! Scary and fun at the same time! :)

3. Watching the NBA dunk contest for the 1st time and seeing BG fly! :) 

4. Getting my first “real” job as a teacher and meeting some AWESOME fellow staff members! My team is great!

5. Going to the rodeo for the very first time with my girls Gloria and Kathleen. Oh man all I remember is eating too much and that scary, SCARY ferris wheel ride!

6. My best friend JASMINE picking me up on my birthday when I was depressed and I had cancelled all my plans. She took me to go eat sushi and talk about boys and she listened to me for the entire lunch (that she paid for). Thennnn she dropped me back off at home and called me 2 more times to keep cheeing me up all day! LOVE THAT GIRL more than anything. (Shhhh I love you just slightly more than I love Mariah and B put together. Slightly)

7. Beginning of the year celebration with friends and having Kathleen giving us tours in her neck of the woods.

8. Not getting to go on a road trip to Austin and the Omicron crew came through to perk me up and bring me birthday gifts! They don't know what they did for me :)

9. Rediscovering my passions/desires! 

10. Interviewing for the University of La Verne and rocking the HECK out of it! I met the Dean of my school and the President of the entire University!

11. The many, many, many countless ways God moved in my life this year! 

Please tell me yours if you had some great moments!

L.A. Photoblogging

Ok so I'm getting the hang of uploading photos on this thing :)

Here is more of my Los Angeles trip...

The drive up to La Verne! Check out the mountains in the back :) They are gorgeousness in real life!

That light again, I don't know but it just spoke to me and i have got to use it for wedding cake design when i get married....

CALAMARI, I am absolutely in love with this stuff and I could eat it every day, for real EVERYDAY! I was sad that I couldn't watch the Clipper/Laker game but this cheered me up :)

Great steak house in West covina

Racist bobble head in the hotel gift shop

The hotel lobby! I stayed at the West Covina Raddisson Inn, cheap (58$) and nice looking :)

View out of the hotel window, these are all taken on my phone camera and it is a great view.

I liked the iron bars again :)

Me waking up in the hotel... FRESH DAY

getting ready for my interview :0) BTW thanks be to GOD, I rocked it out!!!